Category: Relationships

7 Truths about Commitment

As the leaves begin to fall and the chill sets into the air, I am reminded that another summer wedding season has drawn to a close.  In the spirit of celebrating committed relationships, I enlisted the help of anonymous participants (ages 25-40) to complete a survey on marriage and commitment.  On today’s blog, I share 7 Truths about Commitment, inspired by their responses as well as my experiences with clients.  A big thank you to all who contributed.

1. Commitment means more than saying ‘I do’

Weddings are an excellent opportunity for couples to celebrate their love and also vocalize their intentions in front of friends and family – who they want to be as a partner as well as what they cherish in the other.

It’s been said over and over, but I’ll repeat it here, that a wedding is a day and a marriage is a lifetime.  Practically, I believe this to mean that true commitment has to be demonstrated on an ongoing basis, and not just when things are going well.  This may be small gestures like thanking your partner, showing appreciation, and apologizing first, or it could be more significant moments such as buying a home together, supporting your partner through a difficult time, and making efforts to integrate into each other’s families.

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What is Your “Love Language”?

You may have heard your friends talk about it at a dinner party.  Or you may have seen it written in a relationship column somewhere.  Love Languages – what’s it all about?

This concept comes from the influential work of Dr. Gary Chapman and his book, The 5 Love Languages, which has become a staple in the world of couples counselling (and has since been extended to other relationships as well).  According to Dr. Chapman, one of the main issues between couples stems from our tendency to speak different ‘Love Languages’ than our partner.

 

The 5 Love Languages

Let me explain.  According to this theory, there are five Love Languages, or ways that we communicate love.  Most of us have one or two that for us, best indicate a gesture of love.  These include:  acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and physical touch, and although they are distinct categories, how they are defined are quite personal.  To give you a better understand of how they are different, below are some examples:

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Rebuilding after an Affair

An affair is one of the most difficult situations a relationship may face.  It almost always involves feelings of hurt, betrayal, and violation of trust to one or both parties.  After an affair is disclosed or discovered, couples are left to determine what is left of their relationship – to decide whether to pick up the pieces and rebuild, or begin the process of separating and moving beyond the pain. Read more

7 Truths about Commitment

As the leaves begin to fall and the chill sets into the air, I am reminded that another summer wedding season has drawn …

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